


Distance

by MistsofMyMind



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-23 19:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistsofMyMind/pseuds/MistsofMyMind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic to Distance, Merthur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Distance

_The sun is filling up the room, and I can hear you dreaming._

Merlin opened the curtains, looking down at Arthur. He wondered what his King was thinking of. He had to remind himself it was none of his business.

_Do you feel the way I do? Right now._   
_I wish we would just give up, 'cause the best part is falling._

He loved him. It was wrong. He knew it. And yet he loved him so much it hurt. He knew he would only get hurt. Somehow that made him want it even more

_Call it anything but love._   
_And I will make sure to keep my distance._   
_Say I love you when you're not listening._   
_And how long can we keep this up, up, up?_

"I love you." he always says, when Arthur is asleep, or when he knows his King is too immersed in other things. He shouldn't love him. But he did. So he stayed away, putting everything he had into other things, so that he could distance himself from his hurt.

_Please don't stand so close to me; I'm having trouble breathing._   
_I'm afraid of what you'll see right now._

Little did Merlin know what Arthur felt. He saw everything he wanted, no  _needed_  in his manservant. He knew his marriage would not be of love, and would not be to another man, certainly not that. But Merlin took his breath away.

_I give you everything I am, all my broken heartbeats, until I know you'll understand._   
_And I will make sure to keep my distance._   
_Say I love you when you're not listening._   
_And how long can we keep this up, up, up?_

"I love you." he would say, while his manservant was going on and on about his mundane life, going about his daily duties. He was almost relieved when he saw Merlin less and less. Was it possible he could fall out of love?

_And I keep waiting for you to take me._   
_You keep waiting to save what we have._

They waited for each other for years, waited for the other to notice. But they say love is blind, and for Merlin and Arthur that was most definitely the case. They couldn't see what the other felt, because they were too immersed in their own feelings, drowning in them. So they married good wives, and had many children, still waiting for the other to notice, keeping their friendship lighthearted, keep what they thought was all they could have.

_So I'll make sure to keep my distance._   
_Say I love you when you're not listening._   
_And how long can we keep this up, up, up?_

Merlin was bursting with his secret. He needed to tell. For far too long he had kept it a secret. So, kissing his wife goodbye, he left his house, going up to the castle. He entered his master's chambers, much to Arthur's shock. He rarely saw Merlin anymore.

_Make sure to keep my distance.!_   
_Say I love you when you're not listening._   
_How long 'till we call this love, love, love?_

Arthur found his manservant's lips pressed to his own, and he kissed back with vigor, heart beating fast, feeling so full of  _love_  for this man. "I love you Merlin. I have, for a long time," he confessed.

"I love you too, Arthur," Merlin returned.

But, of course, it could never go further. The incident was kept secret. But they knew, both of them, that they were in love. So still, quiet 'I love you' s were said, but never heard by the other ever again. No one ever knew, the love the King had for the manservant. Not even when he died.


End file.
